Doberman property laws:

If I like it it's mine

If it's in my mouth it's mine

If I can take it from you, it's mine

If I saw it first it's mine

If it looks like mine, it's mine

If it was yours and you put it down, it's now mine

If I chew something up, all the pieces are mine

If it's edible it's always mine

If it used to be yours, get over it!

If it's broken or ruined, now it's yours :)

Doberman House Rules:

I will allow the mail carrier to bring the mail we do need

I will shake the water off before going indoors

I will swallow the water before I walk away from the bowl

I will believe the Garbage truck is not really stealing our stuff

I will not destroy the newspaper before you read it

I will not eat the cats food

I will not eat the cats

I will not insist on rolling in filth after a bath

I will not insist you keep the car windows down while it is raining or snowing

I will not go crazy when the TV makes sounds such as knocking, doorbells, or other Dogs barking

I will not poke my head into the fridge every time it is opened.

I will not poke my head into every crotch I find

I will not harass and bite officers that are helping my family

I will not be overly affectionate to visitors

I will not assume we are going out to play every time someone heads for the door

I will not try to bite the wheels of passing vehicles

I will not play dead when told to get off the furniture

My Doberman's Attitude is your problem! 

A House is not a home without a Doberman

My Doberman is smarter than your honor student!

Yes I really do love my Doberman as much as you love your kids

Dobermans are like Potato chips, nobody can have just one!

Warning my Doberman is not a vegetarian

Warning This house owned by Dobermans and they allow us to live here!

We are owned by Doberman Pinschers

Dobermans leave paw prints on the heart

Get a Real dog, get a Doberman

If it isn't a Doberman it's just now a dog

My Doberman can make it to the gate in 2.7 seconds how about you?

Angels are just Dobermans with wings